Seasons...

...and a story about perseverance

Mmmm… enjoying a nice smoky brew of Russian Caravan as I pull up a chair in the sun by the kitchen window and settle down for our chat. I don’t know what it is like out your way, but we are enjoying milder days at last (touch wood) and even a bit of rain. The grass in our back garden is mostly green (just don’t look at the dust bowl/mud bath that is the designated dog run) and the roses are enjoying an autumn flush.

I’ve been getting some work done on my YA short novel for RhizaEdge after hitting a bit of a blimp for one reason or another, and it feels so good to be writing freely again. I’ve been so caught up in Life recently that it’s been hard to manage as regular a writing habit as I would like to enjoy.

I think the cooler weather is helping me there, too. I find hot days so enervating – and it hasn’t helped that our aircon bit the dust in the middle of the hottest streak. I’ve been reading a bit about seasons of writing as part of my quest for finding that elusive life-changing formula, and am fascinated by the way different people respond to the actual seasons.

I think we all go through cycles where our energy is more concentrated sometimes and less others. I find my energy tends to build through the autumn after what become the lazy days of summer for me, and by winter I will have more or less hit my stride. Set me up in a cosy study (preferably with a magic regenerating log fire) and a hot cuppa by my side and I can get in the flow really easily. Walking in autumn and winter helps fuel my own inner magic fire, too.

can you tell that I’m looking forward to winter?

I walk in summer, as well – but in the hours before the heat sets in for the day. Once the sun is properly up, I’ll be hidden inside, avoiding the rising temps as much as possible, and my brain will have melted into a liquid mess a bit like ice-cream on the footpath.

I’ve heard other creators laud the summer months – that is when they come into their own – while the cold weather of winter freezes them up.

How about you? When does your writing come alive?

Of course, the aim of the game is to be a proper professional and write regularly no matter what the weather is doing outside. Bums on seats and all that. And I should be able to do that. I’m a retiree with time on my hands, right? Hmm. Well, I still seem to be busy with this and that and, like my mother before me, wonder where I ever fit the time in to go to a day job 😊.

I have friends who do treat their writing like a job and sit down, no matter what, every day (well, in truth, I do this, but sometimes nothing much comes of it) and, on reflection, they are the ones that have careers, rather than hobbies.

Back when I was going into my teaching job every day, I would get up at 5am and spend the first couple of hours of the day writing. I still get up at 5am, but I’m generally trying to fit in some stretching and strength exercises before my puppy demands attention because, once he is up, everything else is a juggle. He is slowly learning to relax, sometimes, but for most of the time, I’m popping him in the crate for an hour or so here and there and using his nap time to get things done – like writing, housework, shopping, having a shower… I’m sure you get the drift.

This hasn’t been a very productive reading time recently, partly because of the situation as mentioned above and partly because, having started Bloomer by Carol LeFevre, I’m finding it very slow going.

It’s beautifully written, don’t get me wrong, and the message about late-life-blooming is carefully articulated against her generation’s history of activism that has paved the way for following generations to enjoy more freedoms. In an era where old age is not valued but seen by many as a burden, she has a different offering. She writes all this with her own journey taking her to the threshold of what she calls old old-age (my immediate future) and reflecting on her mother’s death – something which I have experienced myself recently, which makes me vulnerable to moments of grief and sadness as I read.

So, the reading is slow. I even thought I might stop at one stage, but decided against. It’s worth keeping on going, reflecting on the turning of her seasons.

I took a break – reading My Lady Jane (hilarious) and Mad Mabel (delicious) – then told myself I’d better be a one-book-at-a-time person for the duration. I’m not quite half way through, so I’ll probably get lost on another diversion fairly soon.

I have got other books on my TBR pile, but I’m waiting with baited breath for The Fox Wife to arrive so I can read it for the Life Changing Book Club which I joined, even though it is managed far, far away in Canada, so the seasons are slightly out of synch.

I couldn’t find a copy locally but my fave bookshop The Book Cow has ordered one from somewhere. I’ll have to read quickly, though – this quarter is almost up!

Edit: it’s here!

My Lady Jane by Hand, Ashton, and Meadows is definitely a different kind of read.

An alternative history with some fantasy and humour thrown in, I saw the TV show first, and just had to read it when I spotted a copy on the shelves. It had me laughing, which I think is always something we need, and I ploughed through it fairly quickly, despite its many, many pages. I often think that Lady Jane Grey, who ruled for a grand total of nine days (in real life), has often been ignored by mainstream history – in this book she is given centre stage. The politics and the intrigue are clever, and the characterisations, hmm, what can I say? Different. Yes, definitely different.

Mad Mabel by Sally Hepworth is also a different kind of book, although it, too, like Bloomer, celebrates the older generation in its own way.

The story punctuates the present-day action with memories from the past, dovetailing nicely to the conclusion that has more than one twist to liven it up. I devoured this one in less than a week, and thoroughly recommend it to anyone who enjoys a good mystery and some complex characters.

I thought I’d go on a bit of a diversion, here, today. I’ve already mentioned seasons of writing, but I want to expand and write about how those personal seasons (unlike the gentle turning of the Earth through its cycles) can easily be influenced by external factors.

Bear with me. I’m going on a side quest to tell you something about Archer, my puppy.

He is absolutely the cutest kelpie and bundle of loveable fur-baby I could ever ask for. But he is a handful. He is super energetic, super enthusiastic, and he has no boundaries. He wants to love everybody with every fibre of his being. We left puppy school with our tail between our legs because he could not cope with being so close to so many puppies. No learning was happening for him and all I was learning was acute embarrassment.

my puppy never made it this far!

Going out for walks became nearly impossible. If we met – or even saw in the distance – another human, dog, bike, car, bird, or, on one occasion, very startled cat, we had bedlam.

Still recovering from injury, I could barely contain his explosive enthusiasm and was rapidly becoming convinced I was a bad puppy-mum and that I had inadvertently lumbered this bundle of lovingness with the wrong home. More than once, I sat in tears in the evening, contemplating finding him a better home, with young, energetic people to look after him, open fields for him to play in, and work for his excellent intelligent brain. I just didn’t know how to do that without him ending up in a shelter first and I was NOT going to do that to him (there’s a gorgeous collie sitting in the shelter near here right now, and has been for over two weeks at least - and I’ll bet it’s her excess energy that has got her there*).

not the one in the shelter…

*and, yes, I keep thinking maybe I should go and break her out, but I’m trying to be realistic, too, about handling two high energy balls of fluff.

I was bereft.

I bought new harnesses and better leashes. I followed so many trainers on-line that my facebook feed started to resemble one long line of training adverts with everything from

• this is how the American military train their dogs to

• let’s play to

• let’s get inside their minds and think like they do so we can communicate better to

• if you stroke your dog like this, everything else will follow.

I tried anything that made sense.

But I felt like I had no idea what I was doing. I’ve had puppies before, kelpies even, but this one…

My puppy school trainer (God bless her – she gave us some ‘free’ sessions to make up for the puppy preschool disaster) suggested a working breed specialist trainer, who might be able to sort out his problems.

While we waited for our assessment, I tried all sorts of things, wondering what this trainer would say about my problem puppy – and about me!

I met with her for the first time last week, out on a property outside of Canberra, where we basically let Archer run free in the home paddock for a while as we walked around, talking about some of the mischief he had achieved and some of the things he could do.

Archer had the time of his life.

I felt… like I was in good hands.

Best of all, I was told all his amazing positivenesses and – to my surprise – all my amazing positivenesses, which included the bond we already have and how my puppy (now a big, boofy 8 month old teenager of a dog) looked to me constantly for safety and feedback, and how I gave it without thinking.

hmmm …maybe not quite

Yes, there’s work to be done, but now it’s work that plays to his strengths and supports his challenges.

His training plan arrived in my inbox today, reaffirming what a great dog my puppy is and how I’ve been muddling along on the right path to build a great relationship and an optimistic future.

I’m excited by what we are going to learn together.

I don’t know what the future holds – but it’s looking brighter. And those helpful, optimistic words, not words about problems but words about strengths, have really made a difference.

Okay side-quest over, what exactly has this got to do with writing?

It’s all about your confidence, getting the advice that suits your needs, and holding onto a positive attitude when things don’t seem to be going your way.

On top of that, it’s deciding what your personal criteria for success might be and what you are prepared to do to achieve it.

And being kind to yourself.

I love my puppy – I’m presuming that you love writing (or creating in some way). If not, then why are you doing it?

Loving my puppy and wanting the best for him vacillated between finding him a better home, and giving him a better home, but in the long run, I knew that rehoming dogs can be hit and miss.

Loving your writing might be stepping back and learning some new skills – either by read, read, reading,

or attending workshops and masterclasses,

or – probably – both.

I tried out lots of different online trainers. All of them seemed good, but not all of them suited exactly what I needed for my dog and some of them turned out to be a bit… odd. But I learned what I needed and I learned what I didn’t need.

I tried out an IRL trainer who heaps of people I know had recommended, and she was great, but she was not the right trainer for my pup. She was thoughtful enough to recommend someone else, though, who she thought might be.

I’d be the first to tell you that, while I can teach writing (and do teach writing), there are some people who can do some things better than me. If you want to learn to plot and twist, and turn research into words, go to Kate Forsyth. She often does workshops at writers’ centres and it is worth keeping an eye open to be part of them. If you want to learn about picture books, I’m possibly one of the last people to turn to – try Jen Storer, or get on BBC Maestro Online Learning and sign up with Julia Donaldson.

Find the person who makes sense to you.

One of the hardest things to hold onto is self-belief, especially if you’ve reached the stage where you have completed a work (or even several) and you just can’t find the right publisher. Perseverance is key, here, but is not the whole story.

It’s a point where you might be vulnerable – to online scams and vanity publishing for one, but just to that little voice in your own head, too.

It might be particularly hard if you grew up in an era – as I did - where it was considered not the done thing to demonstrate any pride in your achievements. Look, if you’ve actually finished a piece of work, that is an amazing achievement, and if you’ve polished and edited, you’ve gone one step even further. Sending it out into the world – whether for an assessment or to an agent or publisher – is an amazing act of bravery. Knowing when it is time to move on is maturity. And having a learner’s approach at all stages is wisdom.

Cycling right back to those seasons of writing – there are definitely times when your confidence is higher than others, when you have the energy to keep going, and you lean in at those times and do whatever you need to do to move towards your goal or your why.

And there are times when it pays to take a step back and nurture yourself – slower times when maybe you go through a learning phase, or even a resting phase. It doesn’t mean you have given up.

I went to take my puppy for a short sniffy walk around the block this morning, not realising, as I left by my back door, that the electricity meter reader was at the side of the house. I circled back and did some training in the back garden, then tried again, only to find a small group of chatty women all out on their morning walk, just going past the house. Archer went insane. From here, I knew this wasn’t a good time to try for gentle walks, so we went back inside and did some quiet work and he had a chew. It doesn’t mean we won’t go out later. Nor did I spiral back into my this-isn’t-working, fear prompted thinking.

Note: this was actually a couple of days ago, now, and we have since been for several lovely little walks and lots of kick-arounds with the soccer ball in the back garden, where I can now plainly see his magnificent herding instinct at play!

I now have a fabulous mental image of my puppy running free in a paddock, coming back to check-in with me regularly of his own accord, and I see him regulating by himself and choosing to sit in the shade for a few minutes.

the picture of self-confidence and total chill

And I have it on paper that my puppy has a strong bond with me. My confidence is soaring, my attitude is high. There will be ups and downs, but we will get there.

Will you?

Having got this far, I actually had more to write about, but I’ve been chatting so much that my tea has gone cold, and I think I ought to save it for another time (the chat, not the tea!).

See you then!

Happy creating,

Cate x